Samedi 18 décembre 2010 à 11:17

http://melancholic.cowblog.fr/images/Alice55.jpg

Elle était dans une pièce interminable, nue et vide. En face d’elle, deux trônes en livres, une femme et un homme (l’homme était d’ailleurs plongé dans un bout de son accoudoir, l’air extrêmement las). La femme portait une robe blanche à jupon noirs, tout en plis et en volume, le trèfle brodé sur sa poitrine discrètement rappelé par sa coiffure sophistiquée. L’homme était vêtu comme s’il sortait d’un livre d’histoire : pourpoint blanc rehaussé de noir, la poitrine barrée d’un bandeau « duc de trèfle ».
« Avancez » ordonna la femme d’un ton sec.
Alice obéit, faute de mieux.
Elle ne l’avait pas vu au premier abord, mais il y avait une quatrième personne caché dans l’ombre derrière les sièges, un homme en tenue d’équitation qui s’avançait résolument vers elle, une main sur le pommeau de son épée. Alice eut un mouvement de recul, elle n’osa pas se dérober. L’homme la fouilla sommairement, puis certainement satisfait, il lui fait signe d’avancer davantage vers les trônes.
« - je ne t’ai jamais vue. Tu es là pour m’annoncer qu’une carte est morte ?
- Numéro 3 a été emporté par des gardes…
- Tant mieux ! La Reine en sera certainement ravie, qu’en dites-vous mon cher ? elle m’a semblé maussade la dernière fois. » Le duc, absorbé par sa lecture, ne l’écoutait pas, mais la femme (la duchesse selon toute évidence) ne semblait pas s’en soucier.
« Valet » continua-t-elle à l’égard de l’homme qui avait fouillé Alice « vas me chercher n°9 il me fera un bulletin météorologique. » Le valet s’effaça.
« - Tu es le nouveau 3 ? Il était spécialiste du calcul de pi. »mentionna la duchesse à Alice.
« - Je vais vraiment devoir faire des mathématiques ? Dans mon monde, ce sont les ordinateurs qui font ce genre de calculs.
- Tu es l’étrangère ? » demanda la duchesse, surprise.
Avant qu’Alice n’ait le temps de répondre, le duc jeta violemment son livre à terre et bondit jusqu’à elle : « c’est vous l’étrangère ? C’est bien vous ? »
Alice acquiesça, désarçonnée.
« Je vous attendais » expliqua le duc, le souffle court. Il était surexcité.
« Vous serez notre experte de l’étranger, vous serez donc dispensée de calcul de pi. Mais il faudra tout nous dire ! ». Ses yeux fous inquiétaient Alice.
« Eh bien c’est entendu. Qu’on lui fasse faire une robe et une paire de plateformes, sa taille n’est pas conforme. Bienvenue dans la famille n°3. » La duchesse fourragea alors dans les livres de son dossier, finit par faire s’effondrer son trône et ayant tiré un ouvrage de la pile, elle s’assit sur cette dernière et entama sa lecture. Quant au duc, il empoigna le bras d’Alice et l’entraina dans une pièce dérobée.
« Numéro 3, ma chère, il me faut vous examiner. » annonça le duc d’un ton inflexible, brandissant un outil invisible. Il s’avançait vers Alice, l’air vaguement menaçant et d’un coup, il fit mine d’éventrer la jeune fille de la gorge au bas-ventre, avant d’écarter les lèvres de la plaie fictive, observant le tout avec une concentration toute scientifique.
Alice finit par lui faire la remarque qu’il n’examinait rien d’autre que sa robe.
Le duc haussa les épaules. « C’est un examen spirituel, vous n’avez pas ça chez vous ? La Reine a institué cette pratique pour que les Trèfles ne jouent pas avec la nourriture. »
La nourriture ? Comment ça la nourriture ? tiqua Alice en bandant ses maigres muscles, prête à tenter une évasion (quitte à avoir la carrière de numéro 3 la plus courte de l’histoire de cette famille). Mais déjà le duc refermait la plaie imaginaire.
« Je sais tout ce que je voulais savoir. A présent, descendez de deux étages… à moins que ce ne soit cinq… Enfin bref, cherchez la salle des costumes, le valet vous donnera votre robe. Et n’oubliez pas, vous êtes de la famille des Trèfles à présent. Vous devez tout savoir. Allez maintenant. »
« Enfer » pensa Alice avec amertume « je suis dans un autre monde et me voilà de retour à l’école. »
Après avoir cherché la salle des costumes pendant plus d’une heure (il fallait monter les escaliers et non les descendre : comment quelqu’un qui a l’ambition de tout connaitre peut-il ne pas connaitre la disposition de son propre manoir ?), Alice se vit affubler du même uniforme que les autres, un 3 en velours noir cousu sur l’épaule, un calepin et une plume d’oie (« mais où est l’encre ? » se demanda Alice mais le regard sévère de la costumière la réduisit au silence), une pair de chaussures à talons vertigineux (« vous êtes top petite. » avait commenté la costumière d’un ton désapprobateur), un ruban noir (que la femme avait noué dans ses cheveux avec l’objectif apparent de tirer chacun des cheveux d’Alice). L’opération achevée, elle se planta devant Alice et dit d’un ton béat « allez, enseignez, apprenez et enseignez. »
« Mais où dois-je aller ? » demanda Alice. Une ombre passa sur le visage de la costumière qui la poussa dehors.
Par Claude le Petit le Samedi 18 décembre 2010 à 22:44
Vous connaissez le duc de Trèfle?*

* http://achetezmoiunchateausvp.blogspot.com/
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